posted
In the grand tradition of Ann Landers, Dear Abby and Dr. Joyce Brothers, SLP is proud to present their new advice column/forum: Ask Sneezy. This forum will be there for you to seek guidance for all of your personal problems. SLP has anonymously tested this concept on several other message board and the response has been rewarding. Here's an example:
quote:Dear Sneezy:
I have a rather personal problem which has recently become of concern to me. I am experiencing episodes of foul-smelling flatulence that I feel makes me stand out. What should I do?
Joe, Duluth, Minn.
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Dear Joe:
I believe that you are taking the wrong approach to this situation: you feel that it's a problem, when, in all actuality, it's truly a blessing. Flatulence allows you to express yourself fragrantly and harmonically. Many people experience flatulence that is either extremely quiet (or even silent), and/or has no odor. These poor, deprived souls deserve to be supplied with what they're missing. Think of it in the manner of this analogy: for those people who are financially not well off, wouldn't you want to give them money? In the same manner, if people are unable to enjoy the acoustic and olfactory benefits of flatulence, shouldn't you consider it your prerogative to reach out to them? So, in the future, when you feel the need to express yourself sphincterly, join the nearest group of people so that everyone can share in your experience.
Sneezy
So now you have a place to go when problems arise in your life. Feel that your car doesn't understand you? Did you just break up with your boyfriend, girlfriend, religious cult, spouse, favorite barnyard animal or UFO support group? Experiencing irregular bowel movements? Unable to satisfy your desire for animal pornography? Wish you could migrate to another planet? Don't know where to put what you pick from your nose? Want to have a relationship with a chainsaw? Fear that your outdoor shrubs are spying on you? Now you no longer have to face these situations alone: just Ask Sneezy!
-------------------- Jim Mac '98 Silver SS #108 Posts: 1907 | From: I hope I'm not repeating myself. Again. And Again. Stop picking on me! Waaahhh!! | Registered: Feb 2000
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-------------------- My Cars: 2000 Bright Rally Red Camaro SS Convertible 2002 Electron Metallic Blue Berger SS T-Top 2004 Silver Birch Metallic Silverado 2500HD Duramax Ext. Cab. S.B. 4x4
quote:Originally posted by Jim Mac: In the grand tradition of Ann Landers, Dear Abby and Dr. Joyce Brothers, SLP is proud to present their new advice column/forum: Ask Sneezy. This forum will be there for you to seek guidance for all of your personal problems. SLP has anonymously tested this concept on several other message board and the response has been rewarding. Here's an example: So now you have a place to go when problems arise in your life. Feel that your car doesn't understand you? Did you just break up with your boyfriend, girlfriend, religious cult, spouse, favorite barnyard animal or UFO support group? Experiencing irregular bowel movements? Unable to satisfy your desire for animal pornography? Wish you could migrate to another planet? Don't know where to put what you pick from your nose? Want to have a relationship with a chainsaw? Fear that your outdoor shrubs are spying on you? Now you no longer have to face these situations alone: just Ask Sneezy!
I need a drink
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