nuff said...
quote:
Originally posted by JediKnight:
Are you trying to start something?
I thought I just did...
quote:
Originally posted by DanA_F99_1977:
Is that what you call creativity. Maybe no posts was creative??!! What do you think?
...put yourself if you will in the shoes of the post creator...he (or she) have put their heart and soul into creating a well researched entertaining and thought provoking masterpiece, only to have it almost immediately locked by some self appointed power hungry key wielding "mine-is-bigger-than-yours" authoritarian jack booted Gesapo aspiring tactician...
...if that were you, wouldn't you first test the waters to see if history was going to repeat itself before having your very heart torn out once again...
...I would think that would be the most prudent thing to do...
...what do you think???
quote:
Originally posted by elsshowerdoor:
Well said, Well spoken.Ladies, Gentlemen, honorary guests and distinguished members. It is my distict pleasure to introduce to you, our very own Jimbo! (loud applause)Sir? you now have the podium.
...well, now that would just figure now wouldn't it...my brain just took off for the weekend... Hmmmm, have to continue this dissertation on Monday...in the meantime...
HAVE A GR8 WEEKEND Y'ALL!!!
[ 10 August 2001: Message edited by: jimb0 ]
quote:
Originally posted by jimb0:...put yourself if you will in the shoes of the post creator...he (or she) have put their heart and soul into creating a well researched entertaining and thought provoking masterpiece, only to have it almost immediately locked by some self appointed power hungry key wielding "mine-is-bigger-than-yours" authoritarian jack booted Gesapo aspiring tactician...
...if that were you, wouldn't you first test the waters to see if history was going to repeat itself before having your very heart torn out once again...
...I would think that would be the most prudent thing to do...
...what do you think???
I think you better watch out for the spelling Gesapo
Harvey's Homily: A man's brain is his Achilles' heel.
Campbell's Principle: He who hoots with the owl at night will not soar with the eagle at dawn.
Newman's Law: Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.
Today's School Graduate's Words for Starting a Conversation: "You know..."
John-Liard's Law: Toothaches tend to occur on Saturday night.
Kopcha's Rule: There is always one more son of a bitch than you counted on.
Newton's First Law: Some days it's better to stay in bed.
Luebbert's Law: Liars get caught by the tale.
Gregory's Observations:
1.Popularity almost always leads to deterioration in quality.
2.A belief is of no value until you can defend it rationally against all corners.
3.When a man becomes so busy that he forgets the beautiful things in life, then it can be truly said he is poor.
O'Malley's Conclusion: Life is a series of movements from one chair to another.
Barker's Byword: When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.
A Fireside Observation: God still seems to be helping those who take a big helping for themselves.
The "Where Are They When You Need Them?" Principle: If a man steals from you once, he's a fool; if a man steals from you twice, you're the fool; if he steals from you thrice, the odds are eight to five the thief and the agency charged with the theft protection are one and the same.
Gerhardt's Law: If you find something you like, buy lifetime supply - they're going to stop making it.
Old French Proverb: The barrel always smells of herring.
Huminston's Law: When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is hard to remember that your original intention was to drain the swamp.
Allan's Axiom: Supersonic travel means that although you still can't be in two places at once, at least you can be heard trying over a wide area.
Haver's Law: A drunken man's words are a somber man's thoughts.
Riley's Rumination: Don't let anyone kid you about the life of Riley.
Lael's Law: Hindsight is always 20/20.
Kegley's Principle of Observation: No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.
Grandpa's Law: Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one.
Nick the Greek's Law of Life: All things considered, life is 9 to 5 against.
Edwinn's Corollary: People with money live so damn long.
Cavanaugh's Postulate: All the kookies are not in the jar.
Preston's Laws:
1.Two's company, three's an orgy.
2.All the world loves a four-letter word.
3.Genius is 10 per cent inspiration and 50 per cent capital gains.
Stock's Observation: You no sooner get your head above water than someone pulls your flippers off.
Schmidt's Observation: All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
Grandma Soderquist's Observation: A road map always tell you everything except how to refold it.
Sousa's Observation: Some instruments in a drum-and-bugle corps are purely cymbolic.
Renau's Rural Rule: If your cow doesn't give milk, sell him.
Fractured Franklinism: A bird in hand is worth about three Kleenex.
Si Perkins' "People Differ" Law: Some object to the fan dancer, other to the fan.
Brown's Bromide: A "peace-loving nation" is one which bans fireworks and make hydrogen bombs.
The Law of Divine Intervention: All Kunst ist umsunst wenn ein Engel auf das Zundloch brunzt. (German version)
All skill is in vain when an angel pees in the touchhole of your musket. (English translation)
Boone's Forest Observation: Porcupines prick.
Puritan's First Law: Evil is "live" spelled backward.
Puritan's Second Law: If it feels good, don't do it.
Ponsy's Postulate: By the time a man can read a woman like a book, he is too old to collect a library.
Launegayer's Axiom: Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.
The Circe Axiom: Lust make the world go round.
Wolfe's Translation: E pluribus unum (anything for a buck).
The "Enough Already" Law: The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
Leon's Liquor Law: Work is the curse of the drinking man.
Allen's Conclusion: Betty Crocker uses a mix.
Allen's Maxim: God must love stupid people, He made so many of them.
Grandma Soderquist's Rumination: Some people fish in the Sea of Life without bait.
Kassorla's Safe-Distance Axiom: When walking a dog, be sure then animal is smaller than you.
Rev. Patrick Mahaffy's Observation: There's no such thing as a large whiskey.
The Postman's Theory: Everything is a plain brown wrapper is dirty.
The Law of Comparative Pleasure: Sex: even when it's bad, it's good.
Agnes' Law: Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
Dan Green's Rule: What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
Ahlskog's Axiom: Half of life's experiences are below average in satisfaction.
Merrill's First Corollary: There are no winners in life; only survivors.
Browning's Theorem: Less is more.
Pastore's Comment on Bronwing's Theorem: Nothing is ultimate.
Samuel Butler's Law: Life is one long process of getting tired.
Drew's Law: Life is full minor and major problems; some days you get both.
Van Roy's Truisms:
1.Life is a whole series of circumstances beyond your control.
2.There has been only one indispensable man... ADAM.
The Dirty-Old-Man Axiom: The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.
Grandma Soderquist's Conclusion: The honeymoon is over when the one-holer outhouse is made into a two-holer.
The Law of Selective Gravity, or the Buttered-Side-Down Law: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Newton's Little Known Seventh Law: A bird in the hand is safer than one over head.
Utvich's Wisdom: A born loser is a guy who loses even in his fantasies.
J. B. Stearn's Homily: Success is like a f@rt - only your own smells good.
Swipple's Rule of Order: He who shouts loudest has the floor.
Houde's Rumination: A martyr is a hero who didn't make it.
The Beautiful-Princess Law: Before you meet any handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.
Leibenguth's Law: A cynic is not an honorable man with experience.
Freeman's Law: Halitosis is better than no breath at all.
Greeniaus' Observation: History tailgates.
The Over-the-Hill Law: At the age fifty you've got it made; you can coast in - it's down hill all the way.
Dr. Johnson's Law of Sexual Satisfaction: The only time you've had enough is when you've just finished.
O. O. McIntyre's Law: There is no such thing as a "little bit of garlic."
Colby's Observation:
1.Some men are legends in their own mind.
2.Bigotry doesn't have a Chinaman's chance.
3.The secret of eternal youth: don't mellow.
4."Leisured" does not mean "leisurely."
An Old Middle East Proverb: A friend advises in his interest, not yours.
Askerberg's Axiom: You win some, you lose some, and some get rained out, but you gotta suit up for them all.
Carson's Law: It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.
A psychological Truism: No man is lonely while eating spaghetti - it requires so much attention.
Mobil's Maxim: Bad regulation begets worse regulation.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Pardo's Postulates:
1.Anything good is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
2.The three faithful things in life are money, a dog, and an old woman.
3.Don't care if you're rich or not, as long as you can live comfortably and have everything you want.
Dalton's Truism: Life is a series of incomplete passes.
A Mother's Law: Happiness is a warm puppy with an empty bladder.
Moer's Truism: The trouble with most jobs is the job holder's resemblance to being one of a sled-dog team. No one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.
Long's Notes: Climate is what your expect.
A "Lucky Strike" Rule: Lighting a cigarette after siphoning gas can be injurious to your health.
Sturgeon's Law: Ninety per cent of everything is crud.
Dietvorst's Law: You climb the ladder of success easier when you lay it flat.
Laver's Law: The same dress can be known as "indecent" ten years before its time, "daring" a year before its time. Then it becomes "chic" and in two or three years, "dowdy." It is considered "hideous" twenty years later, "quaint" in thirty years, and a hundred and a hundred and fifty years later it is "beautiful."
quote:
Originally posted by DanA_F99_1977:
.....and probably a last as well. But JimB0's post was just so overwhelming!
...much better than being underwhelmed...
...or just plain whelmed for that matter...
[ 14 August 2001: Message edited by: jimb0 ]
...I don't know who said that but I like his way of thinking...
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2cm in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The students laughed.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
Now, said the professor, I want you to recognize that this is your life.
The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
But then...
A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.
The moral of this tale is: no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER
quote:
Originally posted by jimb0:
The moral of this tale is: no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER
Okay if we use the bottle of wine from the cellar instead?
quote:
Originally posted by poSSum:Okay if we use the bottle of wine from the cellar instead?
...knock yourself out, but you sure it's not vinegar???
quote:
Originally posted by XLR8NSS:
oh, yea! lets break out a nice ripe Cabernet from Napa Valley or perhaps a Chateu nuf Du pape!!
...that sounds oh so hoitie toidie...
quote:
Originally posted by jimb0:...knock yourself out, but you sure it's not vinegar???
... hic .... paw****ive
oops ... had a bad word in there
... hic .... pawschitive
[ 15 August 2001: Message edited by: poSSum ]
quote:
Originally posted by poSSum:... hic .... paw****ive
oops ... had a bad word in there![]()
... hic .... pawschitive
[ 15 August 2001: Message edited by: poSSum ]
...keep it up, and they'll lock all your threads too...
...
...hmmmm
...so how long is it till Happy Hour?
quote:
Originally posted by jimb0:
...a week with no posts...nuff said...
Hey now... I couldn't get here ufor a few monthss because of Surfwatch at work... DOn't got a connection at home...
quote:
Originally posted by JediKnight:
So what's it take to get this post locked too?
That...