This is topic NFB ~~~Notable Cat Proverbs~~~ in forum SSOA: "Back Porch" at www.chirpthird.com.


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Posted by jimb0 (Member # 176) on :
 
...in an aggravating situation here at work just minutes ago with a resident software weenie, I was reminded of a quote by David Platt who said:

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats."

Having repeated it and making my point so succinctly, thus succeeding to finally rest my case, I was reminded of other great cat proverbs, and thought that I'd share a few with you.

A NOTE TO DOG OWNERS...YOU MAY FIND SOME OF THESE POSTS OFFENSIVE AND DEGRADING...READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

...that being said, I submit...

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer."
- Bruce Graham

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."
- Unknown

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."
- Anonymous

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez

"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
- Ellen Perry Berkeley

"One cat just leads to another."
- Ernest Hemingway

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later."
- Mary Bly

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."
- Joseph Wood Krutch

"People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life."
- Faith Resnick

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."
- Anonymous

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
- Hippolyte Taine

"No heaven will not ever be Heavenly; Unless my cats are there to welcome me."
- Unknown

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer

"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
- Ernest Menaul

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
- Unknown

"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
- Colette

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."
- Missy Dizick

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats."
- Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."
-Joseph Wood Krutch


 


Posted by poSSum (Member # 119) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by jimb0:

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
- Ellen Perry Berkeley

Luv It!!

We had a European cottontail rabbit in the house over winter several years ago ... the survivor of 4 we found in what appeared (over 24 hours of observation) to be an abandoned nest in the middle of our front lawn ... eyes still closed and all. This survivor (we called her "Hoover" after the way she inhaled the "liquid gold" wild animal milk replacement we fed them) showed indenpendance that was as far removed from a cat's as a cat's is from a dog.
 


Posted by Jim Mac (Member # 113) on :
 
Hey, 'B0, give me a call: we can exchange cat recipes!!!!

------------------
Jim Mac
'98 Silver SS #108
 


Posted by jimb0 (Member # 176) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jim Mac:
Hey, 'B0, give me a call: we can exchange cat recipes!!!!

...here's a recipe for ya...

CAT POOP COOKIES!
(Author Unknown)

Here is the recipe for the infamous disgusting cookies that look like cats poops (rolled in grape-nuts, which makes lovely fake kitty litter.)

Last warning-many of you may not want to read this!

There are two flavors-chocolate (dark brown), and gingerbread (light brown).

The author seldom measured carefully, so the amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring. The cookies are dense and not very sweet, this is necesssary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar, they may be tastier but they won't look like poopies.

Chocolate ingredients:

1/2 cup honey
2/3 cup (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine, or lard
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla or peppermint extract
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder grape-nuts(tm) cereal

Gingerbread ingredients:

1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup molasses
2/3 cup(1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine, or lard
1 egg
2 and 1/3 cups whole wheat flour spices-ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste (maybe 1/2 tsp each) grape-nuts(tm) cereal

Mix-ins:

Coconut = tapeworms
Chocolate chips = poop chunks!
Butterscotch chips = diarrhea!
Peanut butter chips = diarrhea!
Cooked spagetti or ramen noodles = roundworms
Corn = self explanatory!
Peanuts = chunks
M&Ms = decoration?

To Make:

Microwave the honey till it bubbles (about 1 minute). Add the butter, (using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie)and the molasses, if any. Add the egg, mix well, then mix in all the other stuff. Add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter.

Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge. Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops.

Roll logs in grape-nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done (about 20 minutes, but this varies so watch them.)

Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of grapenuts, with a cat litter scoop. I hear you get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding. Brown sugar might work as a substitute for the new clumping litters...

Mixing brown sugar with the grapenuts "sweetens up the cookie a bit while still
looking truly hideous."

This recipe worked especially well at the halloween party where the table was already decorated with plastic flies.

 


Posted by Jim Mac (Member # 113) on :
 
Hhhhhhmmmmmm.......now I'm hungry!
 


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