Redneck jokes
Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his
entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally
Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up
there?"
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the
person at the front desk says "go ahead."
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to
32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
A documentary.
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the
driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout what?"
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million
years.
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
A new law recently passed in North Carolina:
When a couple gets divorced,
they're still brother and sister.
Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each
other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says,"Hey Tommy
Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guesses how
many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you
both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room?
A full set of teeth.
quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye:
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
LOL!! That's gotta be the best one . . .
...I WANT IT DELETED IMMEDIATELY!!! ...AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT LOCKED...I WANT IT OUTA HERE...RIGHT NOW!!!
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NOTTT!!!
ps...I decided to edit out all the bad words...
[This message has been edited by jimb0 (edited 24 February 2001).]
quote:
Originally posted by jimb0:
...I WANT IT DELETED IMMEDIATELY!!! ...AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT LOCKED...I WANT IT OUTA HERE...RIGHT NOW!!!
]
Aren't you supposed to be building a deck? Get back to work you slacker 
quote:
Originally posted by poSSum:
Aren't you supposed to be building a deck? Get back to work you slacker
WOOOOHOOOO!!! Just finished Phase II of the deck project...whew...6250 board feet of lumber, 45 pounds of nails and 125 hours later...and I won't even mention the $$$$...I coulda had the Hawk in the solid mid 12's with what I've spent on wood. 
Anyhow, Phase III begins next weekend...figure I should be able to knock it out in a little under 50 hours...then it's P-A-R-T-Y time, so all of you that have just been pining for a trip to the Sunshine State...break out those frequent flyer miles and let's do it up...BIGTIME!!!
...OK...time to go out and enjoy a brewski on Phases I & II...
L8R...
'b0
