Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at any thing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful wealth reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

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Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 180+

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KID (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralizes by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
 

...and here's the Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS) that should accompany WO...

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET NO. EC36C-24-36

"WOMAN" (Wo): A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg, may vary from 40 - 200kg

Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas

Physical properties:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points

Chemical properties:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common uses:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent

Tests:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

Potential hazards:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other

WARNING: PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE

[ 10 April 2001: Message edited by: jimb0 ]