This is topic You Know You're In A Redneck Church If..... in forum SSOA: "Back Porch" at www.chirpthird.com.


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Posted by cytruffle (Member # 1733) on :
 
You Know You're In A Redneck Church If....

The finance committee refuses to provide funds
for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait used to catch 'em.

The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an
official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory

Baptism is referred to as "branding."

There is a special fundraiser for a new church septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep ain't just a parable.

High notes on the organ set the dogs in the
neighborhood to howling.


People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.


The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.


The choir robes were donated by and embroidered with the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.


The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
 

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Posted by CamaroSCG (Member # 1591) on :
 
Very Funny!

 

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Posted by Old Coyote (Member # 1343) on :
 
Ahhhhhhhhhhh ................ Texas .................... I do miss it so
 

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Posted by ss_rs_z (Member # 1888) on :
 
LOL...those are good.
 

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Posted by George (Member # 2075) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Old Coyote:
Ahhhhhhhhhhh ................ Texas .................... I do miss it so

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