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Author Topic: Today's funny, ROFLMAO
KevinA
Dear Sneezy...
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for KevinA           Edit/Delete Post 
Elise sent this to me. I laughed my a$$ off!

THANK YOU for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.

[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other

First Name:.....................
Initial: ....
Last Name: ...................

Password: ............... (max. 8 char)

Code Name:......................

Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ...... ......

Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

Date of purchase Year/Month/Day): 20.... /.... /...

Serial Number: .................

Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / manoeuvrability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq

Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM / Scud missile
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon

How would you describe yourself or your organisation? (Indicate
all
that apply
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
[_] Just peculiar

How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal cheque
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveller's cheque
[_] Letter of Marque

Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defence Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
[_] Classified

To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilisation / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you
to receive mailings and special offers from other companies,
governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to
win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military, Aerospace Division

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential, privileged, or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons
with low self-esteem, no sense of humour, or irrational religious
beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,
distribution, or copying of this email is not authorized (either
explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux
pas.

Unless the word "absquatulation" has been used in its correct
context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have
any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.

No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email,
although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me
tell you.

Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be
gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by
reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice
from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt
around yourself and your computer, you can ensure that no harm
befalls you and your pets.

If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg
and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing


Posts: 2502 | From: Binghamton, NY | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
   

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