hahahahahaha...the things kids say ehhh???...and along a similar vein...I thought I'd shed some light on just what the opposite sex is really after and how you can make them happy. It's all very simple.
For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy, and you in turn will be happy.
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects you to do anyway...
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the female point system.
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Simple Duties:
You make the bed............................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.........-1
You leave the toilet seat up........................-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty......0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom....-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings......+5
But return with beer...........-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night .......0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something....+5
You pummel the suspicious noise with a six iron or baseball bat .....+10
It's her father..................-10
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party...............0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy...................-2
Named Tiffany...................-4
Tiffany is a dancer.............-6
Tiffany has implants............-8
Tiffany is recently divorced ....... -10
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner...................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar........................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite
team.........-10
A Night Out With The Boys
Go out with a pal .............-5
And the pal is happily married....-4
Or frighteningly single ...........-7
And he drives a Mustang............-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) ....-15
A Night Out
You take her to a movie......................+2
You take her to a movie she likes............+4
You take her to a movie you hate.............+6
You take her to a movie you like.............-2
It's called Death Cop 3.......................-3
Which features cyborgs having sex............-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans ....-15
Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly.................-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it....+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts ...........-30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too"............-800
The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?" You hesitate in responding......-10
You reply, Where?"...............-35
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression....0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...-20
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