Only in America - can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America - are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America - do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America - do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America - do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America - do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. (HUH?? I didn't write these!)

Only in America - do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone
we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America - do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America - do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures.'

Only in America - do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Only in America - the budgets for advertising non-essential items, like soft drinks, exceed the budgets of many third-world nations.

Only in America - do people buy domestic brand tires, because they want to "buy American," and install them on their imported
cars. (Like I said, I didn't write them).

...and in some cases sad...

...sad, but true...