www.chirpthird.com: You Know You're In A Redneck Church If.....

my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

»	www.chirpthird.com » SSOA and friends » SSOA: "Back Porch" » You Know You're In A Redneck Church If.....

Author

Topic: You Know You're In A Redneck Church If.....

cytruffle
4th Gear
Member # 1733

posted

You Know You're In A Redneck Church If....

The finance committee refuses to provide funds
for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait used to catch 'em.

The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an
official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory

Baptism is referred to as "branding."

There is a special fundraiser for a new church septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep ain't just a parable.

High notes on the organ set the dogs in the
neighborhood to howling.

People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.

The choir robes were donated by and embroidered with the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.

The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

--------------------

EMCC Member #338
SSOA Member #M02-9119
Michigan Mafia Member #666

Posts: 3236 | From: Dallas, Texas | Registered: Nov 2002 | IP: Logged

CamaroSCG
2nd Gear
Member # 1591

posted

Very Funny!
[Big Grin]

Posts: 641 | From: northern Delaware | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged

Old Coyote
2nd Gear
Member # 1343

posted

Ahhhhhhhhhhh ................ Texas .................... I do miss it so [Big Grin]

Posts: 655 | From: North Carolina ... the land of Possum & Dumplings | Registered: Jan 2002 | IP: Logged

ss_rs_z
4th Gear
Member # 1888

posted

LOL...those are good. [Big Grin]

Posts: 2841 | From: Westland, MI | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged

TxGC
New Member
Member # 2075

posted

quote:
Originally posted by Old Coyote:
Ahhhhhhhhhhh ................ Texas .................... I do miss it so

You trying to tell us there are no rednecks in North Carolina?

Posts: 16 | From: Amarillo, TX | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

Printer-friendly view of this topic

UBB.classic™ 6.7.0