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Author Topic: You might be a ricer if...
380SS
1st Gear
Member # 2078

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I saw this post and thought I would share it with you all... some good ones in here. Read on.


You might be a ricer if...


*Your spoiler is higher than the roof of your car.


*Your exhaust sounds like an elephant fart.


*A softball will fit inside of your exhaust tip.


*You think performance stickers will actually increase
your cars horse power.


*You think that your 115 hp 4 banger is faster than a 300
hp V8 just because you added a Nuespeed sticker.


*Your wheels stick out past your fenders.


*Your car makes less than 175 hp, and has racing stripes.


*You consider a K&N filter & a big exhaust tip to be major
modifications.


*You lie to your friends about winning a race (when you
actually lost).


*You think Honda's are the fastest cars around.


*You can't see out of your back window because of all the
stickers.


*You rev your tiny engine every time you see a Mustang or
F-Body.


*You tell everyone that your car is fast, but you know
its' really a slow P.O.S.


*Your car has performance stickers, but doesn't actually
have the parts that the stickers are advertising.


*You brag that your car makes 90 HP per liter (when its
only a freakin' 1.3 liter engine).


*You will not race a V8 powered car unless the owner is
willing disconnect 4 sparkplug wires.


*You brag about not using nitrous when your car has
another type of power adder (i.e. turbo, supercharger).


*You have a "Powered By *Anything*" sticker on your
windshield.


*You tell your friends that you smoked a big V8 powered
Domestic (but you don't mention the fact that it was a school bus).


*YoU tYpE lIkE tHiS.

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#22 Tom Henry Camaro
Monterey Maroon Red

Posts: 122 | From: Fort Carson, CO | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
02SS1LE
1st Gear
Member # 2085

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Good one Chief ! [Big Grin]

I'll be showing this list at work tomorrow.

Thanks ! [Cool]

Posts: 39 | From: Virginia | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
cytruffle
4th Gear
Member # 1733

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Funny!!! True!!! [Razz]

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EMCC Member #338
SSOA Member #M02-9119
Michigan Mafia Member #666

Posts: 3236 | From: Dallas, Texas | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cavy Dan
4th Gear
Member # 1352

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Hehe..pretty good...here are some more I have:

- you need a yardstick to measure your spoiler.
- you've ever used a blue magic marker to color your headlight bulbs.
- you recorded a neighbor's corvette revving, and you play the tape full blast at redlights.
- weedeaters chase you down trying to mate with your car.
- you think red and yellow match.
- you have japanese stickers on your VW/neon/cavalier,etc.
- you think timeslips are what you get when you clock out at mcdonald's.
- neighborhood strays sleep in your exhaust tips.
- your air filter drags the ground (i.e. iceman).
- you have a kia with numbers shoe-polished on the windows.
- you have no hood on your car.
- you could only afford a half pint of PPG chromallusion flip-flop pearl, so you just had the hood sprayed.
- you have stick on hood pins.
- you have stick on anything.
- you have primered ground effects and a painted car.
- you have 2 or more shades of primer on your car.
- you try to race in bumper to bumper traffic.
- you think mustangs are fast.
- you come to the track with a carbon fiber hood, alloy tuner wheels, no bumpers, only a plastic driver's seat, but a 300 pound speaker box in the hatchback.
- you have a zigzag antenna.
- you think people like your car and they don't.
- you think plastic intercoolers on a hyundai fools anyone.
- you have $2000 Ground FX and a $200 car.
- you spray paint your hood black to make it look like carbon fiber.
- your wheels hang out 6 to 12 inch from your wheel wells.
- those wheels are 6 to 8 inch in diameter w/ gold and chrome plated.
- you cut your springs.
- you lean so far to the left that you can look our your back window and your chin rest on the door.
- you put fake badges on your car.
- you think economy cars are the ****.
- your car's panel are all different colors from add-ons.
- you have Japanese/Korean lettering all over your car.
- you put Lamborghini style doors on you CIVIC.
- you have V-TEC on your Ford Escort, Neon, and Cavalier.
- your windshield banner is so big you can only see just over the steering wheel.
- the inside of your car glows so bright at night that you look like your are all green or blue.
- you have the word VTEC in bold letters and Higlighted.
- you think VTEC is fast.
- you have 14" inch rims
- you have a spoiler longer than your car's length.
- you here farting noises comming from your exhust.
- you pump up your speakers to overcome the noise of your exhust.
- you have a disco club inside your car.
- you think HP stands for Honda Prelude.
- you have a boost guage mounted in your car and no turbo.
- your exhaust pipe is bigger than your house.
- anything extra you put on your car is worth more than the car itself.
- your spoiler is taller than your car when its on the ground.
- your Tach will gauge more than twice as much rpm as your engine will produce
- you mount ground effects with woodscrews
- you make ground effects with sheet aluminum
- your F1 style spoiler is more adjustable than your seat
- you have chrome wheel covers with built in fake cross-drilled rotors
- you have NOS on your windsheild, but not on your engine
- you have Mugen stickers, but no Honda/Acura
- you use badging off of a completely different make of car on your car
- you have so many flourescent colors on your car it glows in the dark
- you colored in your accessories with a magic marker
- your interior is totally yellow or totally red
- you have stickers larger than your side window
- you have a large sticker of a japanease cartoon character prominantly placed on your car.
- you put your automatic car in neutral and roll back at lights to make it look like you have a manual.
- when you shop for an exhaust system for you car, you bring a Folgers can with you to compare size.
- your mod list includes stickers for 20 aftermarket companies, but the only "performance" part you have on your car is that 5in Autometer tach.
- your lighted 5in autometetach isn'y really hooked up (but the backlight is)
- you have an SAFC hooked up to your carbureted Toyota Corolla

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2004 Cavalier LS Sport Coupe
Manual,Sunroof,16" Chrome, Zaino!!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/pazbich3
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Used to Drive: 2001 Camaro SS #3220

Posts: 2651 | From: Enola (Harrisburg Area), Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
   

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