posted
Only Dog owners can really appreciate a letter like this....
Dear Dogs:
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Rules for non pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets.
1. The dog lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my dog a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, she's a dog. To me, she's an adopted daughter who is short, hairy walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. ** Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the pups.
The same applies to cats, except they ignore you until you are asleep.
Posts: 1163 | From: Rochester Hills, Mi | Registered: Feb 2000
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1998 SS - Black All Options - Mods Whisper Lid, K & N, Lou's Short Stick, Shift Light, Skip Shift, SLP Y, Borla, 4:10's, BMR STB, SLP SFCs, Granatelli MAF, Hypertech III, 160 Stat, Mallory Billet Pedals, Metco Aluminum LCAs,Fast Toys Ram Air Mod, Spohn Panhard Bar, BMR Torque Arm, free EGR mod,power antenna, BMR LCA brackets, Gentex Temp/Compass Auto Dim Mirror, AllMaxx Strobe and Wig Wag, BAER Eradispeed rotors,PPC Headers with Random Technology Hi Flow Cats, BMR Drive shaft Loop,FAST 78MM Throttle Body, FAST 78MM Composite Intake, Mobil 1 & lots of Zaino.
Wife & Best Friend Mary - copilot. Posts: 5558 | From: Windsor, Ontario. Canada | Registered: Feb 2000
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Kevin Villier, 2002 SS #186 - 6M with Hurst and "short-stick", TT, navy blue, chrome SS wheels, Bilstein suspension, SS grill, BMR STB, BMR chrome-moly panhard rod, SLP loudmouth, Direct-Flo lid with Holley Power Shot filter, mallory polished MAF ends, 4.10 gears, PPC LT's. 336 rwhp, 345 rwtq
-------------------- Florida SS buff Now in Newport/Middletown Rhode Island 2002 Bright-Red Firehawk # 35. M-6, Loaded to the hilt 315 hp/335tq as of March 14, 2004 Home of 2002 Firehawk #35 Posts: 694 | From: Newport, RI (Middletown Technically) | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
LMFAO!!! I think I need to read this to all three of my dogs! Its bad when they all try to get in the same 1/2 bath with you!
Posts: 50 | From: Annapolis,MD | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Jeffy I can relate to that for sure and the 2 cats that have to sleep with us 1 at each corner of the foot of the bed until you kick them and then they sleep on top of your head
-------------------- Willard (Mike) Scott Worldwide Camaro Club North Carolina state Rep. 2001 SS convertible with all SLP opts. Sunset Orange Neutral top Neutral leather http://community.webshots.com/user/wmss Posts: 737 | From: Siler City N.C. | Registered: Sep 2003
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and you've seen my dogs!
