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How do you tell the difference between Liberals and Conservatives?
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
quote:Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Couldn't we just run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand without harming him? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety device built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, plant some flowers and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
quote:BANG!
Posts: 878 | From: Hoffman Estates, IL | Registered: Feb 2000
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I fall into the "BANG" side of politics for sure.
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" People sleep peaceably in their beds at night, only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf " - George Orwell Posts: 48 | From: Ida, Michigan | Registered: Mar 2003
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They say that a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged and a liberal is a conservative that has been arrested! Posts: 3403 | From: Woodcliff Lake, NJ, USA | Registered: Dec 2000
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Another oldie but goodie along those same lines....
--------- Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Katie Couric, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one day when they were captured by cannibals.
They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief. The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili." The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time." The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace."
Katie Couric said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the Scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job until the end." The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Couric dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what Is your final wish?" "Kick me in the a**," said the Marine. "What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your Last hour?" "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the a**," insisted the Marine. So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the butt. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from his waistband, and shot the Chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him,"Why didn't you just shoot them all?" "What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal A**holes call ME the aggressor?!?"
Posts: 577 | From: Aiken, SC | Registered: May 2002
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quote:Originally posted by DaddySS: They say that a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged and a liberal is a conservative that has been arrested!
Posts: 4222 | From: Winnipeg MB CA | Registered: Feb 2000
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BANG BANG BANG...to the head, the proper technique for a kill I believe.
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