posted
> Dear Dog and Cat, > > I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way. > > The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.) > > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. > > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible (I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm). > > My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees. > > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered (in addition, I have been using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory) > > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you. > > > > Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets: > > 1. They live here; you don't. > > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. > > 3. I like my pet better than I like most people. > > 4. To you it's an animal. To me, he and/or she is an adopted son and/or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech challenged. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
Posts: 558 | From: Loretteville,Mars | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
So true! Before I got a dog of my own, I was never much of an animal person. I thought that people who let their dog have the run of the house, took the it everywhere they went & treated it like a kid were totally nuts, but that's all changed now that I have one & realize just how great they are.
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My dogs and cat seem to take up room all of the time and I have tripped over them many times. Posts: 5682 | From: Dearborn,Mi. | Registered: Feb 2002
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FireChicken
11 Secret Herbs & Spices
Member # 2067
posted
I have been a cat person all of my life (was attacked by a german shepard when I was about 4), and I love pets. They make your day interesting, and remarkably, all of our cats are able to tell when we are sick, sad, or otherwise needing of companionship. Its almost a symbiotic relationship, in many respects.
Well, except for that part where the cat sits right in the middle of whatever you are working on in order to get your attention.
Posts: 686 | From: Texas: Hullabaloo, Caneck! Caneck! | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. >
I would have to agree with this. In our new house we have two staircases...the dog thinks its a race track. Especially when he gets going and runs crazy around the house. He gets going sometimes and slides on the wood floor into the wall. Here is my pit trying to act all sweet... http://www.ablondesworld.com/101-0176_IMG.JPG
-------------------- 2001 Camaro SS 1999 Camaro Z28 Posts: 8 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jan 2004
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