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Author Topic: NFB Politics Explained
blkragss02
3rd Gear
Member # 1801

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DEMOCRAT You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you
with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull,
and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. The government taxes you to
the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who
has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours
the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to
yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce
the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin
an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are
reducing expenses. your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want
three cows.You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one
tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They
learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of
their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all
blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred
miles an hour.Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life
is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them
and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them
again and learn you have42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the
hospital.

IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio
tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and
killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes
for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best,
vote for the black one.Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither.
Some people can'tfigure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from
out-of-statetell you which is the best looking cow.

CALIFORNIAN You have a cow and a bull. The bull is depressed. It has spent
its life living a lie. It goes away for two weeks. It comes back after a
taxpayer-paid sex-change operation. You now have two cows. One makes milk;
the other doesn't. You try to sell the transgender cow. Its lawyer sues you
for discrimination. You lose in court. You sell the milk-generating cow to
pay the damages. You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing
cow.You change your business to beef. PETA pickets your farm. Jesse Jackson
makes a speech in your driveway. Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm
taxes to help "working cows". Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization
of 1/7 of your farm "for the children". Gray Davis signs a law giving your
farm to Mexico. The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you
groped their teats. You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
The cow starves to death. The NY Times' analysis shows your business
failure is Bush's fault.

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Posts: 1118 | From: Southgate, MI | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
FireChicken
11 Secret Herbs & Spices
Member # 2067

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Oh, thats hilarous!!!!
Posts: 686 | From: Texas: Hullabaloo, Caneck! Caneck! | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
Big A
1st Gear
Member # 1761

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[Big Grin] [Big Grin]

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Member # M02-0968
M6, 35th Anniversary LE #102,

Posts: 232 | From: Springfield, PA | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
   

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