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Originally posted by DanA_F99_1977:
Someone needs to rescue Santa Claus!!

IN THE MATTER OF BUSH V. KRINGLE

AUSTIN, Tx (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed
suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making
his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate
injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to
effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good
boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.

The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a
federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive
and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as
submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary
modification."

"There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's
totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to
check? This checking, checking, and re-checking over and over again must
stop now," said former Secretary James Baker. Baker further claimed that
unnamed GOP observers witnessed an elf remove all boys named Justin from
the 'nice' list, filing them under 'naughty' instead because "everyone
knows all boys named Justin are brats."

Gov. Bush cited the potential for unauthorized list tampering, and blasted
what he called the "crazy, crazy mess up there at the North Pole.

Their security is really awful, really bad," said Bush. "My mother just
walked
right in, told 'em she was Mrs. Claus. They didn't check her ID or
nothing."

Meanwhile, Dick Cheney, Gov. Bush's running mate, issued a direct plea to
St. Nick himself. "Mr. Claus, I call on you to do the honorable thing, and
quit checking your list. The children of the world have had enough.

They demand closure now," Cheney said, adding that his granddaughter has
already selected a name for the pony she's asked for.

The Rev. Jesse Jackson was quick to respond to this latest development
with plans to lead his protesters from Florida to the North Pole via
dogsled. The "Million Man Mush" is scheduled to leave Friday.

"We need red suits and sleighs, not law suits and delays," Jackson said.

Santa Claus could not be reached for comment, but a spokeself said he
was "deeply distressed" by news of the pending legal action against him.
"He's losing weight, and he hasn't said 'Ho Ho' for days," said the
spokeself. "He's just not feeling jolly."

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After the initial count, a mandatory RE-count, and, after lengthy whines and tantrums, a couple of ADDITIONAL recounts, it has been determined that little Al Gore was INDEED naughty as charged, and has been scheduled to receive the customary lump of coal.

Santa maintained in his own defense, that if Al had just used all that whining time in "doing the right thing" there MIGHT have been time for corrective action, but since that time was squandered in temper tantrums and belligerant, deceptive rants, there wasn't enough time left before the arrival of Christmas to take further action. Chris admonished "Time is golden, use it wisely and intelligently". He also pointed out that honesty and integrity go a long way in helping avoid these situations...

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Gary - KJ6Q

Member - Goodguys Rod & Custom Association